Mood: blue

Eating: fish floss

Listening: news

 

Yesterday, I was chatting with someone about something, and then he asked me whether I’m happy or not. And that question just struck me like lighting. After I thought about it all night, I came to conclusion, no, I’m not happy. When the last time I really laugh? Seem a long time ago. I feel depressed actually and almost suicidal (thanks God I have blood phobia btw). Part of my depression is that one of my best friends just got married. And I feel sort of lonely, yeah I’m happy for her and not envy her at all. Just lonely.

We, human is really a fragile creature, aren’t we? We afraid of loneliness. People can be introvert or ekstrovert, it doesn’t matter, but deep down we are all social creature. We need community, and even inside that community we still afraid to being alone and thus we need a soulmate. Maybe it’s a mechanical inside everyone that makes us keep reproduce so we’ll not become extinct. We are all dolls with the same design, craving the same need inside a colonial. You feel unique? You feel beautiful and different? Hell no, we are all the same! Viva monotonous!

And yes…I’m depressed..

 

 

(UPDATE)

ok, I’m suck at depressed, but it doesn’t mean that I’m a sanguine person right? (Oh, God Forbid!!)

Been in euphoric mood because one of my piece got admitted to Let-It-Di gallery :boogie:1