Mood: want to pee…..
Listening: somewhere beyond the sea
Playing: sketchup ( I hate working on interior…so boring!)
I never realized that divorce is such a big situation. I was raised up by a single mom and I actually thought that the situation is pretty cool. It’s because I saw that my friends mom was always had that worn out housewives look. They always fat, messy or looks miserable. And I was pretty proud with my mom who is always beautiful and stylish. So in my childish mind I have equation, husband + kids = desperate housewives.
I was still thought that nothing was wrong about my family situation until oneday, one of my friends parent asked me about my family. And then I answer that my mom and dad are divorced. And I saw that petty look followed by the words of consolation. That’s the first time somebody actually petty me because my parents was divorced (and so now when somebody asked me about my family, I always say that my dad is died long ago, they have more horror looks actually hahaha, but at least they stop asking why). I was of course baffled. What’s wrong with it? I was a happy child and although I ocassionally missed my dad but I got used to situation. So everything is really okay!
And then in highschool, I had a some kind of seminar in Gambung about family and all that stuff. Because I was a crybaby (and still is), I cried over insignificant sad story. Apparently other people were not as crybaby as me. So when I was still crying, others were busy asked what’s wrong with me. And then they pointed out that I was sad over my family situation. One of my friend actually gave me the lecture about how my parents still love me although they was separated. And the other friend gave her family secret how she was adopted when baby and pointed out that her situation is more sad than I was (I feel guilty actually because I wasn’t that sad but just trapped by situation!!!) Oh crap, I already know all that stuff, I get over my parents divorced long long ago (When I’m thinking about that now, I think I was on my PMS period because I always such a crybaby on my PMS).
Anyway I told about this because I have a family gossip. One of my relative is just a girl barely out of highschool. But she already has piercings and tattoos everywhere. And she declares that she actually craving to being hurt. Oh my…. What a scandal right? One of my relatives actually has tendency to bondage! She began hurting herself when her parents is divorce not so long ago. And in my opinion that is sooo stupid reasons, in these days how many people has divorced? Lots of them! She also has other family who really care about her, and her dad is not suddenly dissapear (like mine btw..). Her dad still come and go everytime. I don’t know if it’s because she’s not strong enough? Or she just reasoning her odd behaviour over something? I almost down to that self-destructive road though, and I still don’t know what made me choose not to. Let’s just accept my vanity conclusion that I strong enough to pull myself out that destructive force^^. Whatever it was, it was a small miracle and I still grateful for it. I can turn out okay and without scratch from my adolescene period, hmmm….maybe I have to think a spare time career as a child counselor^^
